How Life Changes With a Kid

I’m on a blogging roll! I guess that’s what happens when school is out for the summer! I really should be accomplishing a lot of things (mostly finishing my internship paperwork!), but I’m not! I put Jackson down 45 minutes early for his nap today since we’re meeting Lisa and Nora at the museum this afternoon, but apparently he doesn’t do that. He’s just talking in his crib like crazy.

We took Jackson to the beach yesterday. It was another awesome day for the beach, but he’s still not totally feeling it anymore! He’s definitely hit a phase where he is more cautious and gets scared a lot more easily. I’ve noticed him getting shy and clinging to me too when people approach him. But the beach was still tons of fun. I think Jon likes taking him because Jackson just clings to him and it’s super cute. Jon gets his snuggles in for the week!

I’m really loving this age SO much! Jackson is steady enough when he walks to really be able to play at the park. He’s climbing on stuff and goes down the slide alone. He can be entertained for so long doing one simple task (opening and closing the gates at the park). He is clearly understanding what we say now. When I asked him where his ball was, he started looking for it. If I tell him there’s a dog, he looks around. When I ask him to come sit down to put his shoes on, he does and he sticks his foot out. He’s gotten way more snuggly lately and will actually come sit in our lap for a few minutes while he plays with something. He is just really the best right now!

I’m getting kind of bummed about having to go back to such a busy schedule because I really love this age. It’s hard to picture our life with daycare five days a week again and only spending a few hours in the evening with him, if that. I know it’s only 9 months and then I’ll probably continue working less for awhile (although, hopefully more than I work right now! 80 hours a month would be ideal). But man, I’m just used to our days together! I’m used to taking him to the gym and having slow mornings together. I love our park outings together and taking him to the children’s museum. This is just a really great time with him! I really hope I’m able to keep him home from daycare one day a week in the fall, but I also know that between work and my internship, I’m going to need my days off to get schoolwork done, work out, run errands, and cook for the days I am working. Life is just really good right now with my boy!

Having a kid has really changed my perspective on things. I’ve always thought about the next step and I’m a huge planner. When I got into nursing school, I found a job as an ER tech because I knew I wanted to get into ER nursing. When I took my job as an ER nurse, I was planning on going back for my master’s degree. My degree plans changed from being a nurse practitioner to management, and I had planned on using my internship at my hospital to get my foot in the door for a management job there once I was done with the program.

But with moving to Charleston and actually enjoying days at home with my boy (daycare was still my lifesaver in the early days though!), I just don’t know where life will take us. I had planned on wanting to go back to Atlanta, but part of me is enjoying being away from Atlanta! I had moved a lot in my earlier days, but lived in Atlanta since I was 14. So Atlanta became home. My parents are there. My best friends (whom I also consider my family) are there. I know the city well. I like my job. I’m comfortable there. But the traffic! Man, the traffic is horrendous. I’m loving that my life isn’t planned around traffic anymore. Rush hour here is much closer to an actual hour, whereas in Atlanta, it’s from 6:30am-10am, and 2:45pm-7pm (close to the city, anyway, otherwise push that starting time back about a half hour on both ends). And rush hour here still moves. I’m not sitting at 0mph for the majority of my commute somewhere. It is SO different. And I love being near the water. I love the ocean. I love being in a city near water. I have told Jon forever that I need to live on the water one day. I dream of owning a beach house (so I better use my master’s degree so I can start making six figures, haha). I don’t know. It’s getting harder and harder to imagine going back to Atlanta and being happy there. Laura is planning on moving at the end of the year. Kassie is moving away for the next two years, and then who knows if they’ll move back to Atlanta. Everybody is moving away. So, aside from my mom and dad, what’s keeping us wanting to go back there?!

For the first time ever, I just don’t know my plans for the future. I don’t know that I want a management job (right now). I don’t know what I want to do. I’ve thrown around the idea of blogging more publicly to maybe eventually make money from it. I’ve considered getting into personal training. I’ve thought about switching fields in nursing. (Oddly enough, when I sat down at my computer, I got an email from the Children’s Hospital in Atlanta that I wanted to work at so bad before). I don’t know where we’ll live when I’m done with school. I don’t know how long we’ll be in Charleston for, or if we’ll decide to make this permanent. Part of me wants to move out west for a few years (every move with Jon’s job will be at least a few years, ideally). But I’m okay with not knowing. I’m okay with not having a plan at all. Once I finish school, we can do anything we want. As long as I have my family, we’ll figure the rest out later.

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