Mom-Bod

Okay, so here’s my mom-bod post. I don’t think my frustrations with my body right now are necessarily with how I look at the moment. My frustration lies within the fact that I have no idea what my body is going to look like 6 months from now and that it is hard to clothe my body right now. I understand that I delivered a baby. I was 98lbs at the beginning of my pregnancy and I gained 42lbs. Of course my body is different! My abs stretched out over an entire baby. I gained weight elsewhere. These boobs make 55-58oz of milk every day to feed my baby. And my left boob, which is my overproducer, looks like an overproducer. It’s definitely bigger than my right. So not only are my boobs huge, but one is even more huge than the other. Regardless of my uneven boobs, my body did and is doing exactly what it should be doing.

But I don’t know what my boobs will do after I quit breastfeeding. I don’t know if my hips widened during pregnancy or if my pants are too tight because I’m still holding onto an extra 12lbs. Adding to that frustration is the fact that I’m in two weddings this year. One I’ve bought a dress for, but I spent $130 on that dress that I will never be able to fit into again. (I bought a size 6 and am usually a 00 or 0.) I’m having another wedding in October and the dresses are custom made and cost over $200 and take 12-14 weeks to come in. Do I wait and order it? Do I continue breastfeeding until October so that I can order it for the size that I am now? If I do that, then I won’t be able to wear the dress again and the dress is nice! I have no idea what to do at this point. But I don’t face that issue just with those dresses. I don’t know if I should buy new shirts and pants to fit my new body or wait. My clothes aren’t the most flattering for the body that I have now, or they just don’t fit at all, but I also don’t care to spend money on clothes that will be temporary.

I did decide to at least invest in some shorts for this summer and one swimsuit top. I’m fine living in v-necks for now.

But shopping was more difficult than I imagined it would be. I tried on a few dresses that just made me look silly. I did try on one that I really liked, but decided not to get it.

Dress

Then we tried on shorts. I think the styles now are just terrible, but I had the hardest time. Everything fit weird in the crotch or was skin tight and looked ridiculous. I ended up finding one pair at American Eagle but even those bunch up in my crotch when I’m walking, so I’m not in love with those.

Then we hit swimsuit tops. I assumed any top that tied in the back would fit me if I bought a large. That wasn’t the case. They didn’t fit my boobs well at all and despite being tied tightly, they were still huge around my rib cage since the actual front area was too wide for me but didn’t provide enough coverage. I ended up settling with one from Victoria’s Secret (thank the lawd for sales, because this top was a $60 top and that is INSANE- but it was 40% off… and I decided to just use black bottoms that I bought at Target the other day instead of buying the matching bottoms for it). Sorry for the weird angle making me look like my legs are 1/4 of my height. And those shorts I actually love but they are SO low (I bought those probably 10 years ago when super low rise shorts were in style and never ended up wearing them because they were way too big on me).

SWIMSUITTOP.jpg

I still felt very uncomfortable in that top though. Unfortunately, the ones that offered more coverage didn’t fit properly. I just feel like they’re so boobalicious and really, as I’ve gotten older, I just don’t want my girls popping out all over the place. But I should probably enjoy these Freddie bagel titties (big old titties) while they still fill with milk and look perky because these things will probably be in sad shape once I stop breastfeeding. I went with it though, because this was the only top I tried that worked. They had other tops, but they have push up padding (so does this one) but a lot of them were terribly uncomfortable. Breastfeeding boobs are uncomfortable when you try to smash push up padding into half of them.

And in that picture above, I am totally fine with how I’m shaped. My belly isn’t the same as it used to be. I still have the linea negra (although it has lightened up already) and my scar from my belly button piercing is super dark and I have a weird belly button now in general. But I’m fine with it. I even kind of like it. But then I put clothes on…

IMG_4265

and you can tell that my belly is still not quite what it used to be. So, I know it still looks fine. I know nobody looks at me and thinks I’m fat (and I don’t really care if people think I’m fat anyway). I just am not used to clothing this body and I don’t know what it will look like down the road, preventing me from buying clothes that I actually feel comfortable in right now.

I also have shirts that need certain bras and I am not buying special bras for these boobs (halter top bras, racerback, etc). I’ve actually been wearing all sports bras from Target which I prefer, but they are super full coverage and also super hot. But I think the underwire contributed to my mastitis last time and I’d like to avoid that again. So I only put a real bra on for short outings, and usually I’m too lazy for it then. Thankfully, I really like the sports bras from Target and they are shaped in a way that prevent me from looking like I have a flat uniboob. But they do stick out of a lot of shirts (see that dress above- the black in the neckline is my bra).

I did not expect to be frustrated with my body postpartum. I have never had body issues in the past and have been totally fine with how my body looks, even though I’ve gained and lost weight and muscle and even boob sizes over the years (they went from a very full C to a full A to a B before I ever got pregnant). I just assumed this wouldn’t matter. But getting dressed just drives me crazy and so does not knowing what my body will do in the next few months. I definitely am not self conscious and don’t think my body makes me unattractive and Jon still really loves everything about it, but the frustration!!!

Anyway, so that’s all I have to say about my most recent shopping experience. Hopefully once we get Jackson to daycare next week and I can start working out and have time to prepare more food, my belly will at least get to how it’ll usually be so I can figure out the shorts/pants situation and will only have to deal with the boobs!

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6 thoughts on “Mom-Bod

  1. Shopping for clothes now a day is a pain. And you’re right, this new fashion just barely looks good on anyone. Only if you’re a long twig, and how many women are 5’9″ and 115 pounds. One you have bigger boobs, swim tops that are small to large in sizes don’t work well. They just go with the assumption that if you have big boobs, then your back is wide as well. Bra sized swim tops are the best. And I think that top looks real good on you!

    You’re at only 2 months post pardum and haven’t gone to your prebaby health lifestyle, so things will go back. I know it’s frustrating, I think my cousin is still wearing her pregnancy clothes after giving birth in April ha.

    I would hold off getting your mesurements in until last minute for the October wedding if you want to wear that dress again. You could always have it altered in the boobs area again, you can always take in a dress, not out.

    • Yeah, that’s what I’d have to do if I need to wear the dress again, but I just wish I could order it to fit me for awhile instead of right now! I told myself I’d pump until Gina’s wedding in June so that I’d be the same size, but October is SO far away! The fashion coming back in right now is awful. I’m not a fan of it at all, but I guess I’m just getting old, haha. I think it’s horrible!

  2. Shopping is frustrating in general… I agree with evhid that it seems like the trendy clothes are made for one body type. Like skinny jeans- I just can’t wear them because they look pretty bad on short women with my body type (I am definitely a bootcut girl…). But your new clothes look great on you and IMHO, your body looks really good for someone who recently had a baby *and* you’re not even back to your usual lifestyle. I remember your boobs used to be bigger and that changed, although not quite as much as some of the hair changes.

    I don’t know what to do about the dress situation really but October is a while away… and like she said, you can get the dress taken in but you can’t get more of a dress added. I actually lost a few pounds right before my wedding so mine was taken in a little at the last minute too, from when the measurements were done.

    • Oh the hair changes! Haha! I had so many hairstyles over the years! Now I just stay dark and longer! My birth control made me boobs really big in high school and they shrunk when I joined the Army. I will probably have to get my dress taken in for the wedding, it just sucks because it’s already over $200 and it’s a full length dress, so if I have to take the sides in or anything, I’m worried it’ll cost a ton to do!

  3. You are so tiny! How tall are you?!?! OF COURSE your body changed and honestly I am going to have the HARDEST time with this someday. Like all of it. When you just said that thing about the belly button I started thinking like, “omg I can’t have a baby I have a belly button scar” lol. It’s going to be really hard for me to look at myself. But YOU ARE DOING GREAT! Seriously! And those weddings…that sucks lol. I would be like, no I am not buying a dress right now lol. But You’ll figure it out. I’d wait until the very last minute to order anything. And even then I bet you have to alter it a million times because you are totally going to be back to tiny little 98 lbs soon. I think it’s really cool you wrote about this and chose to share it. And for the record EVERY ONE, like EVVERRYYOONNE has a hard time buying bathing suits AND shorts. I’ve almost cried over it this year. And every other year lol. It just sucks. It’s like who are these things made for?? I have no idea.

    • I’m only 5′ tall, haha. I never used to have a hard time with swimsuits!!!! I have had a hard time with shorts, but now I own so many for my old size that I never had to worry about it! I just bought them as I found them and managed to accumulate a ton of them over the years! Same with swimsuits, haha. I don’t even care about my weird belly button or the super dark scar. I think if you don’t end up getting the line negra, the scar wouldn’t change colors. Luckily, babies take up so much attention that I typically don’t really dwell on my appearance these days, except for when I have to try and go shopping for it!

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