Do you ever think about the role of women these days? There’s no secret that in our household, just as it was when I was little, that I run the house. I clean the bathrooms and the floors. I keep the fridge cleaned out of expired items. I make sure the cats litterbox is scooped and changed, that the cats get fresh water daily, and that their feeder never runs out. I keep our bills paid. I manage our money 100% and decide what goes into savings and what goes into checking. I know when automatic withdrawals will come out and for how much. I’m the one who did our taxes and sat on the phone with the Department of Revenue. I keep our fridge stocked. If I don’t go grocery shopping, it doesn’t get done. I decide what we’re having for all of our meals. I gather our trash twice a week and get all our recycling together once a week. I pick up the house on a nighty basis and make sure things get put away. I do all of our dishes. I change out our toilet paper (really, how does Jon never end up changing out the toilet paper?). I run all our errands and make sure that we don’t ever run out of paper towels or toilet paper. I manage our insurance, from changing over his Jeep on our car insurance to comparing healthcare plans.
Jon checks the mail, fills the litterbox after I empty it, and takes our trash and recycling from the front door to the curb. Those are “his jobs.” He will almost always complete a to-do list if I leave one for him on his days off, which usually has just a couple of things- typically doing a load of laundry (which never gets folded) and unloading the dishwasher.
At the same time, I work anywhere from 36-60 hours a week and spend about 4-5 hours a week at the gym. I also used to do the same thing while in school (thankfully, this is an off year from school- but it’ll start back up in the fall!). Actually, on Monday night, Jon got home after working a 13 hour day. He was a bit snippety with me and commented, “I just need to decompress! I just worked for 13 hours!” It was hard to take pity on the poor soul since I work 12 hour days 98% of the days I work and Jon rarely works more hours than I do in a week. (I work a lot though.)
While I would love it if Jon would magically notice a mess and decide to clean up on his own, or start folding laundry when it’s done in the dryer and put it away without me asking him, I know those things won’t happen. I accept it and love him just the same. I take pride in the fact that I keep everything together and that he always has clean scrubs because of me. But there is a lot to do all the time.
I actually feel guilty if I sit on the couch and watch TV all day and don’t get anything around the house done. (For the record, even on my laziest of days off, I still almost always do laundry and go grocery shopping.) On weekends that I work, I won’t leave a to-do list two days in a row for Jon. I’ll always give him a full day for whatever he wants to do. But I “take a day off” maybe once a moth, if that.
While cleaning the kitchen this morning, I was thinking about how the role of women has really expanded. We were typically the “homemakers” in the past, but I think that for the most part, we still are. Except now most women are working too. So there’s a ton on our plates and we still manage to keep up with it all. (By the way, I definitely know families where the man runs the house, but I still don’t think it seems to be as common.) I have no idea how my mom used to work full time, have three kids, make dinner every night, and keep our house clean all the time.
Anyway, I’m actually off to go clean up the bathrooms and do the floors again! I’ve been dusting and picking up all morning! I had planned on going to the pool for a bit, but Jon took the pool key to work with him (WTF.) so I can’t get in. I’m going to CrossFit at either 5:30 or 6:30 tonight. It’s been five days since I’ve worked out due to not feeling well at all over the last few days, but I think I’m back to normal now!