Yesterday, Jon and I had plans to go to my mom and dad’s house for dinner. I had to work till 3 so Jon decided to head to their house in the later afternoon. I had already told him that I’d be stopping by the gym on my way there and invited him to go, but he said we already had plans and he wasn’t going to the gym instead. (I did try to tell him that there is no set time to go to my parent’s house, which he knows too, but he wasn’t having it.)
When I called Jon at 3:45 saying I just arrived at the gym, he sounded grumpy. I asked if he was mad that I came to the gym and he said no, that he was just disappointed.
I had actually been thinking lately about the sacrifices you make in order to work out regularly. Back when I was doing CrossFit all the time, I’d tell people we’d have to make plans at a certain time so that I could shower before we met up on a Friday night.
Or does anybody have this conversation with themselves? I have two hours before I need to leave for class. I can either shower and nap, or I can go to the gym and eat and just go to class really dirty again? or If my haircut is at 2, I can either shower and be clean for my haircut, or I can just go to the gym and show up dirty. Is that gross to make them wash my hair after sweating that much? or If I go to the gym right now, I will have to meet up with Laura in my gym clothes. Should I just go home and change or show up again in gym clothes?
Part of being dedicated to staying active is making sacrifices. Instead of being lazy on the couch like you really want to do on a rainy day, you get up and move. Instead of having time to shower, you go to the gym. (By the way, the gym almost always wins, no matter what the dilemma is.) Sometimes I have to postpone my plans with Jon so that I have time to get a workout in and take a shower. I also always meal prep the night before work because I don’t eat prepackaged lunch foods, so I always have to allow time to cook when I’m planning my off days. I really do plan a lot of my life around having time to maintain my health.
It can be difficult staying active when you’re married to somebody who isn’t nearly as active. I’m really glad that I’ve finally recommitted to the gym and go very regularly, but when Jon and I are traveling, he won’t stop at a gym so we can work out. He still gets disappointed if I show up to my parent’s house an hour late so that I can have 35 minutes at the gym for a day! And I get it. I’d be frustrated if he wanted to go shooting on all of our trips or go fishing. But, he can tell me I’m being selfish for stopping by the gym before making it to my mom and dad’s. In my mind, it’s not. I mean, I wouldn’t show up to a wedding late for the gym and I wouldn’t make my family wait on me for dinner- I was getting there well before dinner! I don’t think taking care of yourself is selfish- it is what will preserve your health for when your have grandkids or even just 15 years from now if I have to be a caregiver for my mom and dad in their old age! (Note: I was not upset with Jon for his opinion and he wasn’t really upset with me for going to the gym, but I’m trying to show the two sides of this in a marriage as well.)
But we have fully capable bodies and the way to keep them capable as we age is to be active and to use it! I work with too many elderly patients who are overweight, have osteoporosis, COPD (can’t breathe), can barely walk, and I never want to that to be me. I’m really trying hard in our pre-baby phase to make sure working out is one of my top priorities so that it will remain important throughout our life, so that when we are two saggy geriatrics sitting next to each other, we can still live our lives to the fullest. Besides, when I go out on a hike or to enjoy nature with friends or family, I don’t want to be struggling to keep up or to breathe. Doesn’t it take away from the beauty of what you’re doing if you’re more focused on how you feel like you’re dying? I don’t want to that to be me.