The Love of a Husband and Wife

I changed my mind for this post but I can do that cause it’s my blog! But really… I did make it through the pictures I wanted to get through and will post them soon.

Today I went to New Hampshire with ehvid. We had planned on some hiking or whatever but mostly just drove around the White Mountains and did some sightseeing! I’m absolutely loving all the sightseeing up here! Amazing sights! After I dropped her back off, I stopped by Whole Foods and was so excited to find that it was the one that Jon and I went to that had fried plantains and strawberry shortcake! So of course, I ate my dinner!

But I was just lonely tonight. I don’t know if my two days of exploring without him got to me. I’ve always been very independent and have always taken trips without him and we used to be long distance! We even broke up for over a year! I knew that I’d miss him terribly while I’m traveling for work, but I think I’m surprised at how much. It’s hard for me to really define what I mean by “missing” him. I don’t miss him like I’ve missed him or my ex boyfriends in the past. I miss him in an entirely different way.

I still am grateful to be living this life that I have. This is what I love to do. I love to travel. I love seeing new places and exploring new things. I never cared about getting married but I have wanted to see the world since I took my first trip to Italy in 2007. If there is one thing I’m passionate about, this would be it. I believe that marriage is making sure your partner fulfills his goals (I’m using his cause I feel this way about Jon) and that he doesn’t grow old wishing he had done something differently or feel that his marriage held him back.

Tonight Jon told me that this is what I chose to do, so missing him was basically my choice. Was it? Absolutely. I did choose this. I chose to continue down the path that I wanted for my life, knowing that at the end of this fork in the road, the roads will meet back up. I knew I’d be leaving my husband at home while I work in other cities. I know that everything you do in life is technically a choice, but I also think that what you love sometimes just presents itself. I was never raised in a family that travels and I never really cared to travel much growing up. But, on a whim, my friend asked me if I wanted to go to Italy with her before I deployed and I said yes. I was hooked. If I take one trip, I’m hungry for another. It’s what I absolutely love. Would I rather enjoy painting? Yes. Traveling breaks the bank and it takes a lot of time from work. It’s hard to do with a big girl job and big girl bills. But I can’t make myself want to just stay at home and stop exploring.

When he was telling me that I chose this (and I believe he said that it was hard to be supportive of me missing him), I know he wasn’t being angry or harsh or anything, but it just seems careless. I have always supported his dreams of med school (though he isn’t there), and know that if I still have my house or just get a new job, I will be staying in Georgia while he goes to med school. It’s the sacrifice that I feel you make in a marriage to ensure than your spouse is happy in their life too. But Jon and I do have very different views of marriage because we were raised with very different examples of what a marriage should be (maybe another post- maybe not).

Anyway, to get back on topic… I really just missed him. I wanted to drive home and see him and just hang out at home with him and the cats and watch a movie together. I wanted to be in a familiar place and go get dinner together. When I think about this week or next week without him, it’s fine. But when I think about having another 8 weeks or more before I see him, it’s a long time. And then I know that I’ll be packing up again to go across the country without him to do this all over again. (Plans may change.) Life just isn’t the same without him here.

The love I have for him as my husband is completely different than the love I had for him as my boyfriend. I can’t explain why, but it is. And I’m sure if we had kids, the love I’d have for him as the father of my children would be different too. But we may never make it there!

Ramblings

I’m about to start working on pictures in a minute, so all of you will have another traveling post tomorrow (or whenever I get to it, since I have 3 days off this weekend!).

Work was much better last night! I had a preceptor who was my age and helped out with patients and still took initiative so that I could look at the charting a little bit more in depth. We were also much slower last night (still fairly busy) so it definitely helped out a ton! I was feeling much better about the job, but still not very excited about working at this ER in general. The manager asked me how I liked my first day and I told her it was disorganized (she didn’t comment) and when I was talking to my preceptor, she said the travelers often say the same things that I am. I wonder why nobody has listened and tried to fix it? Not my job though. I’m only here for 13 weeks!

I skipped the gym today, which I had planned! I’m only paying for 3 days a week because of the cost. I’m so sore though! I was disappointed to look at the WOD for today and kind of wonder who programs their WODs. On Tuesday, we did cleans and sit ups. Yesterday, we did hand stand push ups, pistols, and pull ups. The WOD today was hand stand push ups and cleans… ??? Who would EVER program HSPU two days in a row? Again, only 13 weeks… and it’s the only CrossFit close enough to go to!

Today is the first overcast day! I’m going to start looking at New Hampshire cause Jessica and I are thinking of going to the White Mountains tomorrow. If she decides not to go, I still probably will head up there tomorrow. Takes about 3 hours to get there, and I could stay in a cheap hotel overnight or head back later on in the evening after exploring. 

I work again from 3-11 today, so I may shower after I eat and then head over to DSW and to occupational health (which is in an entirely different location than the hospital) for a mask fitting. Yup! Pictures to come next post!

The differences between emergency rooms!

Holy smokes. I just worked my first shift as a travel nurse and let me just say, I LOVE MY OLD JOB (still currently my job, but it’s 17 hours away). We have a lot of ex travel nurses that are in my ER and I’ve been told by numerous people how good our ER actually is. We’ve had nurses leave and come back because ours is better. I know my job is stressful and I bitch about it, but it’s stressful because the expectation is high. Our care is expected to be good by management and we really do try to make our patients happy and comfortable with care that is as fast as possible (which is not always fast, but it’s still good care).

I see how good my job was now. I texted Jon at 7:45 “I haaate it.” The charting system here is absolutely horrific. One of the techs was telling me how their reimbursement is so low but it’s probably because they aren’t documenting properly to get reimbursed because to complete it, it would take forever to find it. The nurses are overworked and the ER was way understaffed. I left at 11:30 and gave report to a nurse of 3 weeks (at this facility- not ever) who was now taking 6 patients. Six. Not six sniffly patients. Six legit patients. ER patients. W.T.F. The patients there are all lined up in beds along the hallway. People have all kinds of visitors sitting in the hallway with them (the one time I worked in a hallway at my job, I said 0 visitors allowed, no exceptions. HIPAA?). What a clusterfuck. And while I did actually really like my preceptor, I jumped in at 3pm and we ended up with 5 patients and it wasn’t until around 8 that she started helping with nursing stuff. I get that she wanted to let me learn, but I’m not sure if letting somebody who knows nothing about the system just completely drown is the best.

I’m a bit weary of traveling again after this because it was just that bad. It made me miss my ER at home where we have our shit together. But at the same time, if I do go to grad school for management, this is all really useful. It’ll look good on my resume (traveling jobs show adaptability, but I’ve also already been employed at my “real job” for 4 years, so I’m also committed to my workplace) and I’ll also have a more well rounded perspective on how to improve a department. These 13 weeks should really fly by though and quite frankly, I’m just looking forward to working a few shifts in my hospital where I actually feel like the care I’m providing is really good because the care that I have time to give here felt almost negligent, and that is definitely not the type of nurse that I would ever want to be.

Working tonight actually made me realize how much I like taking care of my patients. I don’t just want to say hi, start an IV, and leave. I like creating a relationship with my patients and while I knew that I enjoyed some of my patients at home and quite frequently would get complimented on what a great and caring nurse I was, I had no idea how much I actually like doing it (but not for the rest of my life). Those sweet patients make my job worthwhile in a way that I never even noticed and I really hope that over the next 13 weeks, I have enough time to really make a difference in somebody’s time in the ER. I have never worked 8 hours without having some sort of relationship with a patient in the last 6 years that I’ve been in healthcare until tonight, and I really didn’t like having that missing piece.

New CrossFit gym & New job!

No new travel post yet! I’ve barely made it to going through any more pictures from the trip! But I’m relaxing in the kitchen right now, eating breakfast after my first CrossFit class at a new gym. I keep hoping to sleep in a little bit, but it gets light here at 4:45! Diane gets in the shower at 4:15 and the light is already peeking out! I think tomorrow I’ll actually close my blinds. But I decided to take advantage of being awake and go to an earlier CrossFit class in hopes of getting a nap in before going to work at 3 today. Like I said, the people were very friendly. Everybody was asking why I’m living here for 3 months and making conversation. Pretty quick workout (5×1 deadliest and then 1×5, 3 rounds of 25 sit ups and 5 cleans). It’s the most I’ve ever paid for a gym but they didn’t seem very willing to negotiate, so I’m just going to suck it up and pay it. No other gyms near here to go to anyway.

I had my first day of orientation yesterday. Jessica and I (the girl who I will most likely be doing all my travel assignments with) just sat through some power points and really boring documentation classes. We both work today. I’m doing 3-11 shifts on this assignment and my schedule is really not very great, but I’m just going to suck it up. Maybe I’ll even end up liking it! I’m a little nervous to start working here since policies vary so much in hospitals and certain hospitals use certain drugs for things (some hospitals use ketamine for conscious sedation- we never use ketamine and typically use versed and fentanyl, for example) and doctors are always different. This charting system is completely different than what I’m used to as well! So, it’ll be quite an adjustment, I’m sure, but it’s 13 weeks and that’s nothing! It takes more than 13 weeks to really get good at a charting system and get the flow of a department, so I’ll be leaving just in time!

Being away from Jon is different! I cried quite a bit when he left on Sunday and was super bummed and it made me so entirely grateful that he got out of the Army and we’ll never have to do an entire year away from each other! But now I’m feeling fine. Still miss him, of course, but it’s so beautiful out here and I feel secure in our marriage, so aside from texting occasionally throughout the day and a quick phone call, we’ve not been in much contact. I do miss my furry babies though since we can’t text! 

Anyway, off to shower and clean up the kitchen! I really really want to get a nap in and I have some policies still to skim over before heading into work today (I have to be there at 1:45 for some more orientation stuff).

Washington DC, Red Sox, Plymouth

Jon and I had an AWESOME trip together (honeymoon trip? saying goodbye trip? road trip?)! I haven’t traveled much inside the US since I tend to go out of the country when I have the time/funds to travel (all you non-married readers- go travel while single with a friend when you can split the costs- traveling when you have to pay for two people from the same bank account is a bit more depressing), but I am so glad we did this trip.

We started out trip out early on the morning of the 12th (after staying up way too late watching Orange is the New Black). I drove for the first three hours and slept the entire rest of the drive (that’s an entire day of sleeping really, don’t ask me how I did it), aside from a quick stop we made in DC. I loved DC! Unfortunately, it was dreary and I was in my road trip clothes, but whatever. We saw all the monuments in The Mall within a few hours before getting back in the car. My personal favorite was the Potomac River there.

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Sorry, no descriptions. Those are major monuments and the river. I’m sure you can all figure it out. We ended up getting to Beacon, NY that night and staying with Jon’s friend, Paul. We didn’t end up getting in till around midnight and we were exhausted after spending the whole day in the car! We had breakfast at a diner early in the morning and then went back to Paul’s to shower and pack our things.

The next stop was Boston! We got into our hotel and I was already feeling sick from eating out for the last two days and sitting in the car for so long, so Jon and I walked a total of 2 miles in the rain for some deli meat and fruit and veggies. He loves me. Then it was time for a Red Sox game! We took a two mile walk there…

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We enjoyed some scenery on our walk. We were totally in love with Boston! However, I must say that the insane roads (who has three roads to one intersection) and the traffic made me so thankful that I am not living in Boston for the next three months! But still amazed at how pretty this city is! Anyway, so we made it to Fenway Park for the game. I have to be honest here… Red Sox games suck. I’ve only ever been to Braves games because they’re awesome, but the crowd at a Braves game is so much more fun! We tomahawk chop and chant and clap and stand up and cheer and the camera is constantly on the crowd and the 7th inning stretch is interactive! At Fenway, the 7th inning stretch is just long enough for a quick Take Me Out to the Ballgame and that’s it. I was seriously disappointed. No fun cameras, obviously no tomahawk chopping, nothing. I did learn what the Green Monster was though (see green wall below).

The next morning, we went to a Fenway tour. It was decent. Not my favorite, since I’m really only a Braves fan and don’t even care about any other baseball, but I was fairly entertained throughout the tour. I do have a ridiculously hard time understanding people over a speaker though, so I only caught about half of what the guy was saying (not his fault- I always have a hard time hearing people on any type of tour).

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After our thrilling tour, we headed down to Plymouth to tour the area a bit before meeting up with Diane, the woman I’ll be living with. We drove by and saw my new place of employment and enjoyed Marylou’s Coffee. Guys, BEST COFFEE EVER! I am already dreading having to leave this area because there will be no more Marylou’s! It was like instant love with my pink cup of delicious coffee! And I loved the little beach we found!

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After our exploring, we went over to my new place to meet Diane! Jon and I really enjoyed meeting her! It’s such a perfect fit for my first travel assignment! I loved both rooms that she has available (Jessica will take the other room)! Also, she lives on an awesome pond!

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Seriously. AMAZING. Jon and I spent about an hour talking to Diane and then we brought all of my stuff in and unpacked a bit. We decided to head down to Cape Cod since we’re so close, but it was almost dark when we got there. We had some dinner and then made it back to Diane’s to sleep around 11pm. We got up early (the sun rises at like, 4:45 here!) the next morning to head up to Portland, Maine!

I haven’t made it to going through any other pictures yet, so the rest will be to come! Besides, the rest of the trip was what I loved so much, so more to look forward to now! This was long enough! I’m headed off to run since I have time to kill and don’t feel like exploring anything else since we just finished such a long trip!

Update from Maine

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I’m actually just stopping in super quick while I upload my photos from my camera to my computer! I am LOVING Maine! I think I will actually take the time to write about the road trip once I get settled into my new place starting on Sunday, so traveling is obviously going to be a huge part of my life for the next year or so. This whole trip has just been so amazing though! Jon and I stopped in DC, spent the night in Beacon, New York, a night in Boston, a night in Plymouth, and then headed to Maine for Portland and a night in Kennebunkport (amazing) and then camped in Acadia National Park! Tomorrow we plan on hiking to the Summit at Mt Katahdin. Neither of us have been doing much hiking and should be a good 8-12 hour day, so we’ll see how we do. But for the views? I think so.

I also managed to get my brand-spankin’-new camera knocked over at the top of Cadillac Mountain cause of wind. The $200 lens broke and I was not happy! Right before getting some awesome pictures too! I had to buy an entire new camera since nobody had just the lens here- so now I need to order the lens so I can return the new camera/lens to Wal-Mart. (I know, that’s cheating- but this is my ONLY camera and I’m on vacation! I had to!)

Time to go order the new lens, actually. And head to bed for what I hope will be a good night of sleep before a day full of hiking!

Last Day in Georgia!

Tomorrow is leaving day! Woohoo! I’m finally all packed except for a few things! I am a bit bummed (maybe that’s an understatement) because Jon rerouted our trip to get to Beacon, NY on Thursday evening which takes us through the mountains instead of up 95. I was really excited about driving up 95 because it’s closer to the coast and goes through DC and New York. I was really hoping to stop and do some sightseeing and I’m just going to admit it- I am totally being a brat and wanted this trip to explore- not to rush up to spend time with his friend (this is one of his few friends that I’m not also friends with). I mean, the point of me traveling is to see the US. Not to rush to hang out with people I don’t care to see. See, I told you all that I’m being a brat. Cause I am. But I’m not coming home for who knows how long, so I’m just going to say that I’m allowed. And then later, I’ll decide that I need to work on not being such a bratty wife. (It may take my whole life to accomplish this goal. I’m the youngest child. I was born this way.)

I am beyond excited to get settled at a new CrossFit gym! I’m looking at one in Plymouth and it has 10:30 classes! This is my dream! 10:30 classes! I have been wanting 10-10:30 classes at CrossFit for the entire last 5 years and none of the gyms I’ve ever gone to offer them! Since I’ll be working 3p-11p, I actually think 10:30 is perfect, as long as I can drag my tired/lazy ass out of bed in the mornings after probably not falling asleep till 1am-ish. I’ve been looking at a bit of the programming on there and while I don’t know yet that it’s really top notch programming and I definitely have no idea of how capable the coaches actually are, the WODs actually look pretty fun. A lot of partner WODs which I actually really like now that I don’t care at all about being competitive.

Today was my “last day” at work (I use quotation marks because I’ll be back eventually). One of my favorite murses (male nurses) brought my Sara Donuts this morning and I was ecstatic! Little did he know, but that is my favorite donut place! And then he traded my assignments so I got to go to my favorite assignment, greeter. It’s the little things. I don’t think it has set in yet that I won’t be returning for quite some time, but I’m sure I’ll miss it. It felt weird to be brining my bag home with me- I never take my stethoscope out of the hospital! I am incredibly grateful for my awesome coworkers though. I’ve learned so much from them in the last 4 years and feel right at home with them. I definitely got lucky with my first job out of nursing school and I actually am excited for my next few shifts, whenever that may be (probably August).

Alrighty, well I’m off. I really want to watch Orange is the New Black, but Jon is watching baseball and since I’ve been pretty demanding all night (because he has been trying to watch the Braves all night long when we have tons of packing/cleaning to do) so I figured I’d wait to ask him for something else.

I think I’ll just go hang out with my cats. I’m going to be so sad to go so long without seeing their cute little faces. I seriously get so excited to see them after just coming home from a weekend in Jacksonville, so I can’t imagine 2 months without these little fur balls.