Life: The Right Path

I’m feeling really grateful today. When Jon and I first talked again in December of 2012 and I knew there was the hint of unhappiness and a possible breakup on the horizon, I wondered what would happen with us. I had a lot of conversations with myself (does anybody else talk to themselves in their car?) that if we had the chance, I just wanted closure and that no matter what happened between Jon and me, the outcome would be the right thing. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to get back together with him or not. I had no idea what would happen. But I told myself as our friendship progressed that the right thing would happen with us. I’m not religious, so I didn’t believe that god would take us down the right path or that I should pray about it. I told myself that I would know when the time was right to cut Jon out of my life again if I had to or that we would know if it was right to take the next steps together.

When I joined the Army, I had no idea why I joined. I still don’t know why I joined! I know the my friend was trying to join the Air Force and it sounded fun and I had always thought about doing it, so I tried. When both of us had problems joining the Air Force, we both joined the Army. We didn’t do it together and we actually only saw each other two or three times while our training overlapped, but that’s the only thing that I can even think of that pushed me to join. One deployment later and tons of money and financial benefits with school, I still have no idea why I joined the Army.

I have days where I love being a nurse. I have days where I leave angry and tired and frustrated and knowing that this isn’t what I want to be doing for the rest of my life. I never hate it. I also never wanted to be a nurse growing up and always dreamed of being a teacher. Then I decided not to be a teacher because I didn’t want to student teach and I don’t even really like kids. But through joining the Army, I decided upon nursing. I also met Jon in the Army. I worked all weekend and left work today feeling very grateful for what I’m doing with my career. While ER nursing is probably not going to be my lifelong career and I am still unsure of whether I want to get a masters in management or public health, I have a feeling I’ll just know.

I really feel like life falls together in a series of events that happen at the right time. I don’t necessarily believe that fate is the reason and clearly, if I didn’t make these decisions in life, I would have made other decisions. And maybe I would have been happy on another path. Maybe I’d be a teacher and already married with kids. But right now, I feel like my life is exactly where it should be. I feel like I’m doing the right things for myself and that this will set me up for a future of more of the right things. And while it may feel at times like nothing in life is going right at all and it’s all a big disaster, I come out on top every time, feeling like life ended up a little more in line with the path that I should be on.

Now, Jon made me dinner and rented us some movies, so time to relax before starting on a plethora of biology tomorrow.

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6 thoughts on “Life: The Right Path

  1. There’s nothing better than to be content with your decision and to feel that you’re heading where you feel where you’re suppose to be going. Some of us feel like we never get there, so you’re a lucky one. Sometimes, the pieces of our lives just falls into place so perfectly and at first it feels that it’s not but after a few have fallen and we start to see the bigger picture, we start to see that this is the right thing. It seems like you have gone with your gut feeling, that is done what you have felt what is right for you, which I think is a key to happiness. Enjoy your time relaxing.

    • I would hope that eventually in everybody’s life, they reach a point where they learn the feel content. I figured it out in my single days. I figured it out now, even though nursing isn’t what I absolutely love. I think it can take some work to feel that way. Although I’m a naturally realistic person (some might say pessimistic, but I like to think it’s just realistic) and I do have to work to feel good about where everything is, but I get there usually- just takes time!

      • Yeah people call me pessimistic too but I like to think of myself as realistic.

        Oh you’re the only other person I know that watches Parenthood. (I only know one other person, but she doesn’t know that Colby and I broke up and I don’t want to relieve the breakup again right now so I am avoiding her.) I am upset with Julia and Joel! They were my favorite couple and now they’re going through seperation and I feel like it’s something silly and I don’t really understand it and I just want them back together!

      • I totally agree! I want them to get back together too! I can’t believe they didn’t even really touch on it in the last episode! I mean, obviously they started the process of the separation, but I was REALLY hoping they were going to show a conversation between them! I have a feeling that they will end up working things out though. I know a bunch of people who watch it! I try and get people hooked on it so that the ratings are good enough that they’ll keep it going since it’s almost gone off the air after every season!

      • Yeah I had a feeling that the ratings are low. I love Joel, especially in the beginning, he was just perfect.

  2. I totally agree with you on life just falling together. Sometimes the life we wind up with is way better than what we imagined. My intention was to go into medicine or pharmacy, obviously that didn’t work out for me. And I’m soooo glad it didn’t! I would have probably been unhappy and I love being a writer. I didn’t really want to move here 2 years ago, but now I love where I live and just can’t imagine living elsewhere. I know people bring religion into it, things like “Let go and let God” and all that people say to help others through the mysteries of life. That quote doesn’t help me much, but I guess it helps some people mentally, and that’s good for them. There’s still a lot of faith (not necessarily religious faith) that goes into just trusting that everything will work out the way it should.

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