Marriage Woes

Wow, long time no blog! I doubt I’ll be blogging much in the next few weeks, because we decided to sell our condo! I was hoping to get it on the market this past week, but Jon went out of town for business so I was caring for Jackson solo, so let’s be real- nothing happened except caring for a baby, washing bottles, and sleeping. I still have cold feet because honestly, I don’t know that our condo will give us enough money for a down payment on a house (it’ll give us a very large portion of it though) and I really don’t want to empty our bank account. So, we may be staying with my parents a little bit longer than we would like, but time flies these days! Besides, it may be kind of nice staying with permanent help! After all, Grandma loves her little Peanut Butter Jelly Baby!

Solo Mom time was actually not terrible, aside from the fact that no gym happened except on Monday. I have been trying to work a few extra hours a week (as in 6 hours extra hours a week, haha) so my Fridays have been shot lately too. But Jackson and I have this whole baby routine down. The only somewhat miserable part was that I went to pick up Laura from work yesterday and take her to the shop because of car issues, and an insane storm hit. It really freaked Jackson out so I had a hysterical baby while stuck in traffic and I felt awful! I even fed him in the back seat but he fussed through most of the feed. But other than that, I actually kind of enjoyed a little alone time.

Jackson had a sleep regression recently, so he was up once a night for a full three weeks. At the end, he started waking up more. So we decided to have him cry it out. The first four nights went pretty well. The longest he cried was 30 minutes and it wasn’t too bad. He slept all night the fifth night. The sixth night he was HYSTERICAL for an hour! And I was just so, so, so, so exhausted. I was running on about 3 hours of sleep per night for the last 3 nights and I lost my shit. I told Jon I was going to throw Jackson against a wall (I would NOT do this, but if you have been exhausted and listening to your child cry, it makes more sense). Thankfully, it got much better after that night and we’re back to sleeping all night again! I have NO IDEA how we made it through the newborn phase though. I was so tired from one night waking!

Being so exhausted just caused a huge disconnect with Jon and me too. Also, breastfeeding hormones can really make sex miserable. Like, painful the entire time. So let’s just say that we aren’t really connecting in the bedroom either. We were unsure if we should put the house on the market if we felt so unhappy being married to each other. I feel a little hesitation about selling my condo because on my income alone, I couldn’t even afford my condo for what I’m selling it for. I would never be able to buy again off of my income! It “traps” me into relying on his income. And really, Jon and I both are committed to our marriage and making it work, but having a baby around and just pushing you to exhaustion sometimes doesn’t make things the easiest. I tend to get irritated with Jon really easily and clearly, I’m not ever showing him any physical attention (I do, but not that kind of attention), so it just makes him feel unwelcome in our own house. We have a lot of stuff to work on, but I think that’s normal in a marriage to have things to work on. It just becomes much more stressful with a baby and with having a new house on the table, because I really am super independent and I think it’s a huge struggle to let go and give Jon that “power.” I’m not even sure how to word that, because it isn’t power.

It’s a struggle though because I bought my own condo. I bought my own car. I bought my own trips out of the country. I paid for my college degrees. I have always been very self sufficient and I’ve always worked really hard to pay for the things I need. Although I love working less (like, LOVE LOVE LOVE it, haha), it is definitely a shift in my identity to no longer be this person who works a ton of overtime and brings home the bacon. And I could totally still be that person, but I don’t want to be that person! I don’t want to work so much anymore! I want to get Jackson ready for daycare in the mornings and be home with him in the evenings! (I also still want to go to Europe and Iceland and everywhere else- that part of me is still there.) I’m totally fine with Jon being the breadwinner and making like, triple what I’m making (which, for this year, will be way more than that- I just looked and I’ve only made $7,000 this year, haha). But I’ve always really felt like it is so important in a marriage that both people be financially responsible, which we are, but I am no longer financially independent. Now that I have a baby to pay for and I am selling something I couldn’t afford again in this market, it just really makes me realize how much I don’t want the life that I had before of working SO much, meaning I can’t possibly be financially independent anytime in the near future.

I know marriage is  a partnership and I shouldn’t feel trapped into being married, but I can’t help the fact that that is my mindset at times (and Jon knows this and he doesn’t like it- something I guess I need to work on!). When you argue and get tired of each other (as married couples probably tend to do), you wonder if you’re married because you actually want to be or because you have a kid and it’d be too hard to have a broken home. I don’t want to wonder even more if it’s because we have an expensive house together! That loss of independence (which would happen in any marriage and is not just something I think is related to being married to Jon specifically) is very difficult for me for so many reasons. I know that I want my entire life to be with Jon and our family, but it is still scary to realize that maybe I’m going to have to accept that I can’t actually do this on my own and I probably need to work on making Jon feel like he’s equal in this marriage and that it’s not just me that runs this show. And I need to not let the negative emotions get the best of me. I know marriages have ups and downs. I know how much I love Jon and how much I want him in my life. Just because I’m tired doesn’t mean I need to start seeing how much he annoys the shit out of me sometimes and wonder why the f’ I even married him in the first place! But that sounds so easy when I’m not irritated and upset. I’m so rational when I’m in a good mood, haha. When I’m in a good mood, we’re going to die on the same night, in love, like they did in the Notebook, and when I’m in a bad mood, we’re destined for the D word (not “dick,” the other D word- but they kind of feel the same with breastfeeding hormones! …. that’s a joke…)

This was not supposed to be a post about marriage! Also, I know it was super repetitive and how many ways can I say the same things (or how many times can I say the same thing in the exact same way but four sentences later?), but I think this was a bit of a therapy session for me. I get so wrapped up in what is happening in life and the tasks of our day and caring for a tiny human all the time that I don’t put as much thought into our marriage as I should. I think about daycares and food and cleaning and the impending doom of school starting again and work, but not how to prioritize our marriage. Frankly, by the time I do the things that need to be done in the day, our marriage is the last thing I feel like thinking about, and that’s terrible! That’s not the type of life that I want for us at all! Maybe I need to spend some time thinking and making Jon feel appreciated before school starts again on the 10th, because then all hell will just break loose…

I need to go eat some more dinner and clean the house and relax with some trash TV before Jon gets back from Phoenix tonight!

Buying and Selling Houses! AH!

Happy MONDAY! This weekend went so fast. And this will be long. Sorry guys (not).

So, I’m considering selling my condo. Our condo is 1100 square feet, which is totally fine with me. But Jon HATES it. Like, complains all the time about our house. Personally, it’s less for me to clean and I am totally fine with it. He thinks we have no storage room, which is sort of true, but I also like. We can’t collect tons of shit because we don’t have room for it. We do minimal toys for Jackson (which I also like!) because we don’t have room to have twenty single-purpose toys. And the location? I LOVE where we live. LOVE IT! We live right at the perimeter, just north of Atlanta. The commute to my job is so easy and fast since I go against traffic and it’s all highway, so there aren’t a million stoplights. Jon works all over the Atlanta area, so it’s convenient for him. They’re putting a Whole Foods in just minutes from our house. The gym is easily accessible even in rush hour, as is any grocery store except Whole Foods right now, LA Fitness, Target, and Wal-Mart. All of my friends live downtown, so we are close enough to them. And we live in the land of parking lots still, since we are far enough outside of the city. Also, this exit is one of the only exits without traffic in this area. Our road is the perfect road. While the entire rest of this town has a ton of traffic, not this road.

The ONLY downside of this location is that it is NOT accessible to my mom and dad. The ONE reason I am considering moving up north (by “up north,” I mean to where my parent’s live, about 25 minutes north of our house with no traffic, but about 1 hour north with traffic) is to be near my mom and dad. Okay, so two reasons. The first is that when I go out of town, it would be really nice for my mom and dad to live close enough to Jackson’s daycare to pick him up if they need to. Right now, if Jon and I go on vacation, it’s really difficult because there isn’t anybody to watch him. For my mom and dad to drop off and pick Jackson up, it would literally be a two hour round trip to take him to daycare, if not longer (love Atlanta traffic). So, if we were close to them and Jon and I wanted to take a week long trip, they would easily be able to pick Jackson up after work. The second reason is the cost of housing. The area we live in is an expensive area. A cheaper 3 bedroom house is in the low $300s, and that’s for an older house. A new 3-4 bedroom house is in the high $400s here (a new house is not even an option in this area!). In my parent’s area, a 5 bedroom house is high $200-low $300s.

I will NOT be house poor. Like, will not. Refuse to be. No way. Not a chance. I love to travel and to actually live my life too much to spend all of our money on a HOUSE. I would honestly rather stay in this 1100sq/ft for our $900 a month and this super awesome location and take trips than move and have a nice house and be stuck at home. I want to eat a $70 sushi dinner if I want to! I want to go to Europe if my little heart desires! I do want a nice house. I want a nice kitchen and a light, airy, clean space. I would love a little more storage. But I don’t need huge. I don’t need brand new. I just need something comfortable and visually appealing.

So, we have friends who are the property gays in Atlanta, haha (that’s what they call themselves). They are my friends who flipped houses to afford their adoption and now live in a SUPER nice house downtown. Their renovations are gorgeous! But they don’t do any work themselves. Josh is a realtor (as a second job- he actually is some sort of engineer, I think) and he finds the houses and then they have contractors fix them up. Jon and I are going to meet with them to discuss the cost of a renovation. We also are going to start looking into schools in the area we live in. We know our county is not high on the list of schools, but perhaps we can find a good one and just drive to it. Once we check out the schools, I think we’re going to list our condo. And once we list our condo, we’ll be moving in with my parents for as long as it takes to find the perfect house/possibly renovate.

My issue with this is, again, DAYCARE! I already said how long it would take to get to daycare down here, but I am finally comfortable with our daycare! I don’t want to switch again, but it’s not even feasible to bring him down here really. But if we move back down here, then I can’t be on a wait list for 2 months again. And I can’t be on a wait list by my parent’s house and not get a slot and then have to go stay with them. Also, we just got a new cat with claws (totally should have waited) and my parents don’t allow claws in their house. So I would HAVE to get Rascal declawed, and I’ve been sort of against declawing lately. We’ll see…

This is a good time to sell though. Our area has REALLY gone up in price. I bought my condo for $106 and I just looked and a 2/2 condo (the same layout as ours and it is remodeled like ours- but ours has wood floors and newer appliances- the one listed doesn’t even have a fridge) for sale in our condo and it’s listed for $160k. Guys! $160!!! That’s $54k up from what I bought mine at! And we did maybe $5000 in renovations on ours (we did our own floors, paint, and then changed out outlets and stuff). Houses are going so fast in this area. The condo is already pending in our complex. Uhhhh! What to do, what to do!

Maybe I should save my weekend update for another post since this is so long. I just go back and forth with this whole house thing all the time. I get so ready to list our condo and then always get cold feet and decide no. But I told Jon if he is willing to look in our area now (after we go check out schools), then I will list our house. I’m going to call and get our preauthorization for a loan! AHHHH!

4th of July Weekend

I just started typing “Happy Monday!” but it’s definitely Wednesday. My, how time flies when you’re having fun!

We had a three day weekend this past weekend, which is kind of the norm for me. I did work on Friday afternoon for somebody and I’m pretty sure we just chilled on Friday night. Jon and I had plans all week during the week last week, so one of us was always out of the house while the other watched Jackson. It was nice to just hang out with each other!

Saturday morning, Jon and I woke up and decided to head up to Blairsville to hang out at the cabin with my mom and dad. We haven’t been up there since I was pregnant and it was so nice to go back up there! And honestly, it was totally doable with Jackson too! We only stayed the day, but I think we’ll be trying to go back sometime in the near future. We got up there around 11am and hung out on the patio and then I took a nap.

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We went out to dinner with my mom and dad and then Jon and I had to head home since it was Jackson’s bedtime. I ended up going to the Carter’s outlet and getting a ton of baby stuff, so now we’re pretty well stocked up on 9 and 12 month outfits for Jackson. We also caught this sunset, which is right near mine and Jon’s first house together:

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Sunday morning I had big plans of the gym, but I decided to go run errands instead. I needed to make a trip to Whole Foods so we could eat, and then when I got home, I really wanted to hang out by the pool for a bit. I spent an hour there which is longer than I ever go for (especially because I never make it to the pool anymore!), but it felt so nice to just sit and relax alone! When I got back, Jon had Andrew over and his sister and her boyfriend, so I hung out for a minute before hopping in the shower. Jon and I headed downtown to visit our friends, Josh and Joey, and meet their little girl that they just adopted! Josh and Joey flipped houses to pay for the adoption and the house they are in now is gorgeous! It totally makes me want to renovate an old house downtown, but who am I kidding- I would hate to live downtown! It was so good to catch up with them and I’m also excited because Joey is going to be a stay at home dad and Josh is off until September, so I can have playdates on Wednesdays with Jackson and their daughter! We left around 5:30 since Jackson was over the visit, and then Laura came over and we went to have dinner at Panera together.

Monday was the 4th! Woohoo! I woke up early and ran to Target since I really needed to get some stuff! I finally bought a raft and a swim diaper for Jackson, so of course we took him to the pool for the first time!

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The pool really isn’t the same with a baby. I wanted to get some sun but clearly I have the whitest child ever, so we kept his pale little body in the shade. And after about 20 minutes, he was done with the pool too. He went down for a nap when we got home. We were supposed to have brunch with Crista and Billy, but we kind of got blown off, so we made a super late brunch at home and relaxed for the afternoon. I think there may have been naps. That evening, we went over to Gina and Brian’s for a cookout. We got there way early since I knew we’d have to leave to put Jackson to bed and we wanted to have some time to visit, so we beat the crowd! We left around 7:15 and then spent our evening relaxing.

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Yesterday I decided to keep Jackson home. I thought maybe he was teething and really, I just wanted to relax and it didn’t work out for Jon to drop him off at daycare. So I put him down for a nap in the morning and then we went to take Rascal to his vet appointment. I got stuck in SO much traffic coming home! It took over an hour to get home! And then once I got home, Jackson was in such a mood! I ended up giving him Tylenol and feeding him until he fell asleep and then he slept for 3 1/2 hours! I never let him sleep that long but I didn’t even want to deal with the beast! Haha. I went to the gym at 5:30 and had a super good, super sweaty workout! When I got home, Jon had Jackson up and he was being a super sweet boy! Of course! I made us some chicken, caprese, and broccoli for dinner and then we put Jackson to bed!

I slept terrible last night! It took forever to fall asleep and then Jackson woke up at 5am. I thought maybe his nose was clogged up since he has been waking up with boogers clogging his entire nose, so I went in to check him and then he lost his dang mind! I fed him (I still feed him if he wakes up at night since he doesn’t wake up too often, so I figure he needs it when he does) and then decided to just pump since I knew he’d sleep in and I wanted to sleep in too! It took me so long to fall back to sleep! Ugh! Hate that!

I woke up with Jackson around 8:30. I got him fed and cleaned up and then made breakfast. I dropped him off at daycare at 11:30 and made it to the gym at noon. We had a super easy workout. I went to Target just to buy Foca for diapers but they were out! Bummer! So I headed to get Jackson since I knew he’s been super sleepy lately and got him down for a nap.

I pumped and cleaned up and now Jon is home! Tomorrow I work and then our weekend starts early! The rest of this month is crazy! We have so many weekends booked up through October and Jon is out of town a ton this month, so I’ll be solo parenting a bunch, which really sucks. I hate being home alone with Jackson at night because I just don’t feel as safe. Anyway, time to go wake Jackson up before he sleeps way too long again!

Has anybody ever run out of storage on here? What do you do?! Can I buy more?! I don’t know how this works!

Lots of Boring Talk. #momlife

Hey-oooo. Happy Before 4th of July Friday! Things around these parts have been busy. Since I have to actually hold my pump parts in place now (I had to switch to smaller flanges that don’t come apart and I’m still too cheap for a real hands-free bra), I can’t type while pumping and I just don’t sit down much otherwise.

I’m officially back to work. Well, I had been, but I’m officially actually working more hours. By more hours, I mean that I work like, two 6 hour shifts a week (8s if I have to work Saturday or Sunday). But still, we have a new swing of things. Monday is my errand running day, Tuesday is a workday, Wednesday I keep Jackson home from daycare and we usually make plans for lunch with a friend, Thursday is a workday, and Friday is usually another errand running day. I’m kind of liking the predictability of our schedule and I definitely am getting back into the swing of things at work. My IV skills are sort of coming back. I’m remembering how to work with adults again. I don’t feel quite so lost.

I’m having a hard time with the gym though. I go Monday and Friday at noon. Jon does dinners on Wednesday evenings, so I haven’t been going on Wednesdays since Jackson is home with me. I get out of work in time to go to the gym, but it’s really difficult to go since I usually don’t get to eat a real lunch since I work a 4 or 6 hour shift and spend my lunch break pumping (so I just snack while I pump). I pump again after work at 3 and then have to pick Jackson up from daycare and change and feed him before he goes down for a nap. By the time that is said and done, I’m exhausted (I still wake up at 5:30am, even if I don’t work until 9, because it takes that long to get myself and Jackson ready and to take him to daycare) and I’m usually so hungry that the gym sounds like a terrible idea. So, my gym life is a struggle, but I feel so good when I actually make it to the gym. I hope this is still an adjustment period to a busier life and that I will start being able to make it more often. I just paid for the gym 3 weeks ago, so I’m still getting back into it.

I also officially dropped a pump. This may not be exciting at all to anybody other than exclusive pumpers, but now I pump every 4 hours instead of every 3 hours (and if I am late, it’s 5 hours between pumps). Just that one hour difference a day makes a world of difference. It is so nice and I really feel a lot more free! If I pump first, I can actually go out to dinner without stressing about having to pump in the middle of eating. It’s great!

I have started cooking a lot more meals lately. By “a lot more,” I mean like, one meal a week. But hey, better than before! I’ve been making enough for leftovers so it seems like a big deal! I made the pork tacos I mentioned on Monday and I actually really liked them! I did make the sauce sweeter and made extra and of course, I used a whole second can of pineapple, but the tacos were good! I actually sort of like them better warmed up as a pork bowl, but I would make them again for sure. My homemade whipped cream was also a success! Maybe I’ll start trying to make two meals a week, but this past week was so busy between mine and Jon’s evening schedule and Jackson was a little pain the butt, so it was hard to get anything done in the evening!

Jackson learned how to roll onto his belly, so now he rolls onto his belly at night and then cries because he can’t roll back. It is SO ANNOYING and I might just wedge him onto his back if it continues. He wakes up at 3 or 4 or 5am and cries because he is pissed about being on his belly and then if I flip him, he flips right back over and then gets even more pissed because he realizes that he’s hungry too. But I am not getting him in the habit of wanting to eat again at night, so we’ll be crying it out this weekend if he continues. We may be some tired parents this weekend! Obviously other than this new obnoxious development, Jackson is still the cutest baby ever and I love him to pieces, but he was fussy this week and didn’t want to be set down at all in the evenings. So there was lots of crying and way too much baby holding.

We got a new deep freezer! How adult of me to even mention that in my blog! We have a 5 cubic foot chest deep freezer, but I filled it with milk. So we got a 17 cubic foot standup freezer! I guess I’m not weaning any time soon!

I’m going to go. Jon is asleep on the couch (he asked me to change Jackson’s diaper and said he’d finish feeding him, but he was sound asleep 2 minutes later once Jackson was clean) and I should probably go eat some more food because I’m super hungry. I think we may run to Target tonight once Jackson is up because we’re parents now and that’s what we do with our baby for entertainment.

Mondays Mondays Mondays

I’m making pineapple pulled pork tacos tomorrow night. I was sort of half committed to the idea and was going to just use pork chops to make them, but Jon insists that he doesn’t like pork chops in the crock pot (seriously- all shredded pork is the same!), so I asked Jon to run to Kroger and pick up a pork tenderloin because Whole Foods didn’t have any. So he went to a butcher shop and spent $17 on pork! And it’s like, a slab of tenderloin! I have a feeling we’ll be eating pork tacos for like, the next 10 days.

I’m also going to attempt to make my own whipped cream. You know that dish with pineapple, whipped cream, cottage cheese, and the Jello mix? I love it. I made it for Thanksgiving last year and nobody ate it and I ate the entire bowl by myself over the next two days. Anyway, I try not to consume carrageenan, so I’m making my own whipped cream. I think you just literally whisk it with a hand mixer and that’s it. We’ll see how it goes.

I finally made it to CrossFit today! I skipped it every day last week except for Monday. I could have gone two of the nights but they WODs looked awful and I was feeling way too lazy both days. So, maybe this week will be better. And then I went to the daycare in my booty short spandex and felt so inappropriate. I can’t believe there once was a time when I would just run errands and go out to eat in my spandex after the gym. #imamomnowcantdothatanymore

Jon and I have been watching cooking shows nonstop lately (not true- we also watch House Hunters) and the other night, they had scallops on there. I cracked up at this conversation.

Me: Those are sea creatures, right?
Jon: (Looked at me like I’m dumb.) Yes.
Me: I always thought they were potatoes.
Jon: Yes, tiny little disc potatoes.
Me: I thought you said they were sea creatures!
Jon: (Laughs at me.)
Me: Oh, they ARE sea creatures!

I also told Jon he could name our new kitten, but he delayed. So I said I’d name him Simba and then we called him Simba for like, four days. And then he decided too late in the game that he actually did want to name the kitten Rascal. So we had this conversation:

Me: You can’t name him Rascal now! I already introduced him as Simba!
Jon: Introduced him to who?
Me: …….Instaaaagraaaaam.
Jon: Oh my god…

We’ve had some good laughs lately. Mostly at my expense.

Laura and I got together on Saturday afternoon to book our flights to Tahoe/Yosemite this fall! We finally decided upon it. Delta jumped on this stupid bandwagon of charging extra for “Main Cabin” tickets, meaning you get to pick your seat ahead of time. For $40. Dumb. Delta irritates me. I would fly somebody else except they have SkyMiles and fly pretty much every internationally out of Atlanta. We’re going for 10 days and it’ll be my longest time away from Jackson ever! I’m not really nervous about that, but I hate the thought of him in daycare for 6 LONG days in a row! I hope Jon will be able to get out of work early! I’m pretty excited about our trip! We have lodging in Tahoe, so we just need to book it in Yosemite and then rent a car. I really wish we could have road tripped, but there really isn’t time to make it out there and back! I want to go to White Sands SO BAD but I guess we’ll do it another time!

I worked on Sunday! It was a pretty easy day! Jon brought Jackson for lunch but he was a fussy pants and unfortunately, the timing didn’t work out that well for me to go so we had a rushed lunch (he ate before I got to leave for my break). Then we were going to hang out last night so I asked him to come home from my parents before dinner but he took a nap and then I asked him to help clean up and he was like, “Ugh, I’m never coming home to hang out again.” Help clean up, dude. Get over it.

Alrighty, well I’m gross from the gym. I need to get in the shower and pump and clean up this disastrous house before Jackson wakes up from his nap. I’m making tomorrow my cooking/cleaning/pool day while Jackson is in daycare!

Ramblings Always

I’m so lazy. I paid $130 for the gym and I can’t make myself go. Actually, I was planning on going tonight until I looked at how many times I’d have to jump rope tonight. Like, 1000 times (that is sadly not an exaggeration). These breastfeeding boobs are not about to bounce up and down that many times. It’s just not happening. And last night, Jon got home too late to go. I probably could have gone, except he had a phone call when he got home and he couldn’t take care of Jackson until it was too late. So… One day, I’ll get my shit together and get these muscles back.

Sometimes Jon tells me I look at him like he’s stupid and I’m always like, “No no, I don’t think you’re stupid!” But he’s talking to his friend who wants to transfer schools and about college and the things he says it’s like, “No no, you’re kind of stupid.” That’s mean. I don’t actually think Jon is stupid. I actually think Jon is way smarter than I am. But sometimes, I have no idea where he comes up with these statements (“I don’t care who you are! Biology is hard for anybody!”- Except for me. Who made As in both of my biology classes and yeah, I studied for them, but it definitely wasn’t a hard class.) And then I’m like, maybe I am kind of judgmental.

Do you ever meet those people who are so genuinely nice that it just amazes you? People who invite you over with their arms open and fridge stocked and give up their own bed for you?! I so wish I was one of those people, but I’m not. I actually have a kind of hard time having people in my space. By “a kind of hard time,” I probably really mean “a really hard time.” I am just sort of set in my ways. I like it quiet and dark to sleep. I like my door cracked so the cats can get in to pee. I like to eat all the food I prepare. I don’t even really want to share my bed with my own husband, so I definitely don’t want to share it with anybody else. And it really irritates the shit out of me when I want to watch something on TV and people try to talk through it! Like, can I have my 42 minutes of trash without you talking, please?! Jon used to tell me that I don’t like to be uncomfortable and I would deny it so hard, but you know what? I’m 30 now. I don’t have time for that. He’s right. I don’t like to be uncomfortable. I don’t want you eating my food or talking during my show or sitting in my spot on the couch. I don’t even like listening to the TV as background noise so I ask Jon to wear headphones to watch TV so he doesn’t disturb me. So really, I’m just not that nice of a person. I mean, I am nice, but I probably don’t really want to go out of my way for somebody else unless it’s my idea. I feel like those aren’t good qualities to have so I never wanted to admit that I actually have those faults, but I think I’ve finally realized that although I won’t ever be 100% open and inviting to everybody, I still have other great qualities! (I just have to figure out what they are. Haha. I’m kidding.)

That was totally random and I have no idea where it came from. Probably from Jon’s stupid conversation.

Anyway, I had to work today and I’m working tomorrow for somebody. I got my butt kicked at work today but 6 hours is a pretty quick shift. It wasn’t too terrible. Except I didn’t eat lunch and then my blood sugar was dropping when I finally got Jackson home and of course he pooped even though they had just changed him at daycare, and then when I took his diaper off he peed on himself for the second time today. Know how many diapers I changed today? 2. He peed on himself 100% of the times I changed his diaper today (I know it’s still only 2, but he really only does that at the most inopportune times, like when I need to leave for work or I’m having sweats and shakes from hypoglycemia).

But Jon brought me flowers and a sweet card! We’ve kind of been annoying each other lately. I never think he likes spending time with me and he thinks I nag too much so he doesn’t actually like spending time with me, and then it’s a big cycle and we just kind of live with each other and parent Jackson and get irritated by the other person. So, hopefully we’ll like each other better after today.

I’m so exhausted. I should go relax or clean the house since I work again tomorrow and I’m not even going to the gym. So, yeah, I definitely need to either be productive or be lazy. I just haven’t decided which one. I think I’ll just hang out with Simba (that’s what I named our kitten even though Jon doesn’t like it).

Wedding Weekends, Father’s Day, Kittens, & Jobs

Hey-o! Happy Monday! I have had a lot going on lately! Gina’s wedding was this weekend and it was SO MUCH FUN! For those of you who don’t know (probably most of you), Gina and I have been friends for 15 years now. I met her when I was 15, but we really became good friends during our junior year in high school. We lived together our first semester of college and then I transferred, but we literally spent every weekend having sleepovers for like, four years straight. I was obviously excited to be in her wedding as co-Matrons of Honor with Kassie!

Friday evening was the rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner. The rehearsal was so quick! We went to an Irish Pub for dinner! Jon made it just on time! My parents agreed to watch Jackson all weekend long, thankfully, so Jon was able to join us for dinner. Him and the husbands (Gina’s husband and Kassie’s husband) formed the Wolfpack recently, so they’re like bests now, basically. I had broccoli and brie stuffed chicken for dinner and holy cow, it was so incredibly delicious! I was so glad too because I was really wishing I ordered everything but that. We left around 9pm because I was sick and super exhausted and we were also getting our new kitten on Friday night!

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Our kitten was adopted out of Missouri (I think). I actually was hooked up with the little guy via Instagram. He was rescued from a kill shelter and was due to be euthanized, so he was pulled by a rescue group. He was delivered by a rescue transport person. He’s about 7-8 weeks (8 on his paperwork, but I have a feeling that isn’t accurate- my vet said he’s closer to 7 weeks in weight). We barely got to spend time with him this past weekend, but I’m happy to say that this kitten is super well socialized and a very happy, very needy kitten! He is a purr machine and meows nonstop. Very Tom of him! He loves to puff up and try to show Kitty who’s boss.

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Saturday was the day of Gina’s wedding! I was feeling really tired and not too great Saturday morning, so after pumping, I headed right back to bed. I woke up in time to throw everything together and then Jon and I headed out so he could drop me off at the W (the hotel where we were getting ready). We picked up Kassie and grabbed some coffee and started our day!

I really love wedding days! It was just Kassie, Gina, Hannah (the other bridesmaid, who will be Gina’s sister-in-law shortly), and Gina’s mom. It’s so fun drinking mimosas and getting ready together! Gina looked amazing! Her hairdresser and makeup artist did a fantastic job with her (she’s pretty anyway!). We had to head to the venue at 2:30 for pictures.

The wedding ended up being super chill. Gina’s mom planned most of it and they had a wedding coordinator, so this was one of the easiest weddings I’ve been involved with! We basically showed up, drank mimosas, and that was it! The weather was also absolutely amazing for the middle of June! It had rained Friday afternoon (before the rehearsal, magically) and that cooled everything down. It was cloudy and so cool out! I almost needed a jacket at night! The ceremony was so short and to the point, which really, everybody appreciates when it comes to weddings! And then it was time to celebrate! The food was SO good! There was a taco bar, a Southern bar, and then chicken/beef. The cake was Nothing Bundt Cakes. SO so so delicious. There was a photo booth there and it was so much fun! I need to take some pictures of that and upload them! We danced like crazy and Jon even split his pants! Gina’s mom told me how much she loved watching Jon dance all night, haha. He loves tearing up the dance floor! And really, it was hilarious that Jon split his pants! I’m pretty sure my favorite quote of the night was when I said to Kassie, “I’ve had 2 cupcakes already!” and she said, “I’ve had 8 gin and tonics!” Hahahaha. I have some good photos on my camera, but I haven’t uploaded them, so here are a few I downloaded from Gina’s mom!

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After the reception, we headed over to the W for a little after party. It was SO packed! We stayed until about 1:30 or so and then headed home.

I went to bed at 3 since I had to do one last pump and I wanted to spend some time with the kitten since we’d been gone all day and he has to stay in the bathroom when we’re gone!

Sunday morning, I slept until 9:30! Pretty late for us! We got ready and then Jon and I went and grabbed breakfast together at J. Christopher’s before going to my mom and dad’s to get Jackson. He was super fussy by the time we got there since he hadn’t napped all morning really, so I cuddled him and put him down and spent the afternoon chatting on the patio with my mom! We ended up staying there for dinner, and then we came home and I cleaned up the house and read my book. We hung out briefly and “celebrated” Father’s Day. I think Jon was disappointed by my lack of planning and celebrating, but it was a busy weekend! I did make him a Shutterfly book of Jackson’s birth, but I gave it to him two weeks ago because I was too excited, haha.

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This morning was vet day for the Kitten! I took him to see Dr. Lobeck (one of the vets who took care of Tom!). Dr. Lobeck said he was excited to see my name on the schedule with a new kitten! The kitten (currently unnamed- I would like to name him Mr. Waffles and Jon wants to name him Buddy, but I call Jackson “Buddy” so I don’t want to name him that!) looks healthy! No fleas or parasites! Possible ear mites but Dr. Lobeck said it didn’t even look like he has ear mites. He’s due back in two weeks for more shots!

I threw on my gym clothes after the vet and headed out to CrossFit. I’ll be honest- I really wanted to take a nap. Like, really bad. But I am trying to work out more so I went to the gym. I’m still scaling a ton, but I managed to do 80 sit ups total, so my ab strength is definitely improving! It was a struggle a month ago to do 20 sit ups! And really, I don’t care about scaling. It’s kind of nice to not go all out at the gym. I still get in a good workout without being all crazy! And I think Jon may even start coming to CrossFit too! He was asking me to check with Steve (owner) about pricing for couples and said he thinks he’d like to get back into it. So, I really hope he’ll come because he doesn’t tend to be very active and I think living a long, healthy life is obviously important!

After the gym, I hit up the grocery store and then went and picked up Jackson. He’s taking a nap now and I’m hoping Jon will be home soon! Jon actually went to my mom and dad’s to use their garage so he could wax his car or something. I think we’re going to make chicken for dinner and I’ll probably clean up the house some more (seriously, how does the house need to be cleaned every single day?!?!).

I’m on call tomorrow from 11-3. I actually hope I get called in since I could use 1.5x pay… I’m working 9-3 on Thursday and I just picked up for a coworker from 9-3 on Friday. (Let’s be real- I need to work some more hours so I can at least cover the cost of daycare!) Wednesdays are going to be my days to keep Jackson home from daycare, so maybe I’ll see if my other mom friend, Lisa, wants to get together for lunch on Wednesday! Oh, and I talked to the new manager at my PCU job (the “new” job). I basically said it was too many weekends to work there and she asked how I’d feel about working 1 Sunday a month and 3 weekdays and told me to discuss it with my family and get back to her this week. But I’ll probably quit. I am considering her offer, because I actually do kind of like that job, but I just don’t know that I want to work a 12 hour shift every week. And I know it’ll only be more difficult once school starts back up. So, I know the best choice for our family is to just quit that job instead of trying to juggle two jobs. After all, I technically don’t even have to be working right now and I have turned into one of those moms who doesn’t want to work full time with a little baby at home! I miss him too much!